There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything but it isn't giving up. It's realizing you don't need certain people and their crap.

I love Jasmine.

I woke up to the cutest twit ever from my friend Jasmine and it made me smile so much.

Im a Gleek :p

Okay so I have been watching Glee for a while now, but I never officially watched it watched it. I just watch the episodes people hype about and all of that and to be honest I never understood shit. I thought it was another HSM kind of thing and I wasnt interested in all of that.

However, two days ago, while waiting for my Gossip Girl episode "The Townie" to load, I decided to watch Glee to pass the time. I must say, I fell in love with Glee that day. I am now up to date on what has been happening, I watched all the episodes. My best glee characters are: Puck, Will, Kurt and Blaine. I know they are all guys but who cares! I love boys. LOL.

I will be giving commentaries on the future episodes because Glee is so exciting to me. I also love Mercedes, apart from the fact that she is my name sake, she has an AMAZING voice. I also love how real Santana is, I cant decide who is more beautiful, Santana or Quinn. What do you think?

I absolutely cant stand Rachel, I dont get her. She is so self-centered and all about the "ME" in everything. So annoying.

This is Blaine and Kurt. Kurt is soo cute and Blaine is soo Hot. Ive watched this video like 50 times already, no exaggeration. I also love Will and Gwyneth Paltrow's Umbrella/Singin' in the Rain thing. I also loved her Forget You CeeLo cover. Amazing!

I love Glee! Much Love xo

Friendship

Lately, Ive been feeling very lonely, like I have no friends. I had the best people in the world as friends and thats what I thought but now I dont feel the same way. You know the one thing I hate the most is when people give excuses for their actions. My BBM expired a month or so ago and I feel really bored without it. I feel like Im drifting away from all my friends and I was stressed about it. So I kept making an effort to communicate with them as much as I could but then I realised something, they werent making an effort back.

I don't need BBM to talk to my friends everyday and they have to realise that. If they arent talking to me as often as they used to before and they are using the fact that my BBM is deactivated as an excuse then they really arent friends. If you were REALLY my friend then you will make an effort to talk to me regardless right? There are so many other ways. Its not like I dont come on the internet anymore. I think its just selfish and I have decided from now never to be the only one making an effort in any relationship in my life. Its stupid and only makes one sad.

I remember @ihatequotes twitting something like this a while back:

"Never make someone a priority in your life when youre only an option in theirs"

Its something I think about when I feel down again about this whole thing because you know what, its the truth and the truth hurts but it must be told. So if you are reading this and you feel this way about anything in your life, just remember that quote. You are as important as the next person and should feel that way. Leave comments if you please. Much Love xo

Change is good.

Okay so Ive been on blogger for like less than two months or so and I feel like I still dont have a theme for my blog. I just post up poems and pictures but there's no ME in the blog. Its not personal and I want my blog to be personal. So from now there will be lots of changes. Im gonna be blogging about soo much more. Im gonna even be posting videos sometimes. I just want to make my blog like my baby. Much love xo

I wish I was this pretty :(

If you cant get someone out of your head then maybe they are supposed to be there

♥

There is a little truth behind "Just kidding."

A little emotion behind "I don't care."

A little pain behind "I'm okay."

My heartbreak.

I remember holding
on to that rope until I was bleeding.
I felt it cut into my skin
but I didn’t mind the pain that came with it, 
I endured as my blood came falling down a drop at a time.
I could hear it dripping but I felt the rope slipping so I held on tighter.
The cut got deeper, and it was followed with more blood.
I still didn’t care; I thought pleasure was waiting on the other side.


But time passed, and it was truly a thing of the past.
It was something we’d thought we could take for granted
Something we’d thought will fall right back into place with time.
But I didn’t even realize it was too late until it was far from too late.
And I guess you also had that epiphany
Because it wasn’t long until you let the rope go too.

Today is my bestfriends birthday!! Happy Happy Birthday sweetie :* I love love you :):)

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within. 

 ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Venting it all out slowly.

I am in the library right now at school.
I am sitting by myself & Im basically just reflecting on my life.
My life has been very turbulent.
People might have life worse, people might have life easier, but life is still a struggle to me.
I cry about it, sometimes I'm just too angry to even care.
But yes, sometimes I do cry about it.
Im not one to complain about life but I have a lot to complain about.
Sometimes I admit, the stupid thought of suicide comes to my head.
But I can't, I won't, and will never do that.
Its just a thought that creeps up, but I'm way to strong for it.
I'm no coward, Id rather wake up every morning and face my pain and hurt
and go to bed every night with wounds that will eventually heal
than run away from them altogether.
I'll come out stronger in the end, I know that
and that's why I keep going on everyday
...

Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's a walking distance.
- Anonymous.

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her"

She is so BEAUTIFUL.

Take life as it comes.

Okay, so I haven't posted anything up in a while and there's a reason (REASONS) for that.
I've been super super busy. I have dancing, singing & art to do and I'm working on eight poems at the moment. 6 of which I'll probably post soon. Anyway, December looks like it's gonna be a really fun month for me because:

1. It's my best friends birthday in 5 days! 
2. My sister is coming in 13 days! AND, 
3. I'm gonna be freee from school for at least 3 and a half weeks!

I absolutely dislike school, I'm considering dropping out, seriously. Okay, okay. I'm joking :*

DO's & DONT's

Don't waste your time wondering over all you could have,

should have or would have had.

Just be satisfied with what you do have.

Don't spend your time thinking of how much better you could do,

should do or would have done something.

Just know you did what you could and that's what counts.

Don't dwell on something that has been,

and always would be too far from your reach. 

Instead, work with what you've got and make it count as something.

Don't waste your time because time is life

and life is the scarcest commodity on this planet. 

Every second matters, so make it count for something.

Fashionably sketchy.

“Where shall I go? To the left where nothing is right? Or to the right where nothing is left?"

-@EpicTweets_

She's such a cool kid

"Life is what happens when you're too busy making plans"

AUTUMN

Autumns leaves rained down gracelessly.
The trees had grown tired and gave up the fight.
They had held on to the leaves for so long but now it's time to let them go.

Red, orange, yellow, I sat watching them silently.
They looked almost golden under the sunlight and
All bore different characteristics telling different stories of which I was curious to know.

The first was fierce, a warrior perhaps.
Blood stains on his face, his grey past hovering like shadows behind him.
Jagged and rough edges, told of his life.

The dying widow.
Her cancer had spread beyond control, she was incomplete.
All she can do is smile, that made her appear golden, that made her feel happy.

A vivacious teenage boy.
Bright and spotless. His whole life ahead of him:
Long and promising.

I sat there entranced by the surrealty of autums's chaotic beauty.
The stripping naked of trees.
The chasing away of flowers.

The wind is her ally, the night time her friend.
But she doesn't stay for long because
sooner than later, the time will come for autumn to depart and give way to winter.

Charcoal and Pencil Potrait
11.10.10

“Create like God, command like a King, work like a slave"

Away in the dark ..

It’s sad to say
In many things in my life
I see that I am compared with others, but it’s the truth

It hurts to think,
When I set out to start something
I feel it becoming a race between myself and others, that’s just deep.

When I fight for something
My self-esteem won’t let me do it the proper way
So, I end up rushing back into my shell
Covering myself from the world,
But I bet even a snail watches through its tiny little hole
Because I still see people staring,
I still feel the scrutiny
I still hear their comparisons

When I don't fight at all
My interest is questioned, I'm made to be icy.
My words mean nothing
Because my actions aren't expressing the same
I can still see people staring
I can still feel the scrutiny
This time, I can more than hear their comparisons

I try to act like it doesn’t bug me
Hoping that will make me feel better
But you can only hide yourself in the darkness for so long because the sun will come up by morning
And the pain only reincarnates in a more hurtful way each time.

It’s hard to hold my lips up in a smile because my mind and soul are fat with depression.
My tears are in constant battle with my eyes.
Piercing them so much, forcing them to bleed with my cries.
I want to be strong, I want to be happy, I want to ignore shit
But I'm not ready for that yet.
Ive tried and failed countless times.
Ill rather be detached from reality for now.

Shower me with your love,
Send your affections pouring down on me with every word you drop
Let your warmth penetrate through my skin
Let it sink into my soul
Let me long for some more of you.
Don't let me go because I will only come back for more
Hold me tight so I can smell you inside me.
If you want, you can stab me with your kisses
But when I'm cry you must comfort me with your hugs.
Wrap yourself around me
Don't ever let me feel this emptiness again.
I want to smile like this forever
So just shower me with your love ..

Rose

She stood there waiting for him.
Hoping he’ll show up.
Yearning for him to come.
Craving for him as she grew impatient.
Waiting as the earth continued orbiting around the sun.
Feeling sad as the sun set; It no longer shone on her part of the world.
The sky went grey and she let the rain wash her pain away.
She might be gone for today but tomorrow she’ll come out to wait for him again,
like the patient and beautiful ROSE she is ..

Left.

He was meant to come, but he didn’t show.

She cried but the pain only became sublime.

Her heart hurt like it had been ripped apart.

She wanted to kill herself, end the suffering.
He left her there all alone in the rain.

Although by now she ought to know.

She still had hoped it different this time.

The rain eventually grew heavier than her heart

And she realized she had to stop waiting.
She left her umbrella alone in the rain.

Officially 2 more years of Teenagehood

 I’m SEVENTEEN today :D
“Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to ME!”

"It takes two to fall in love the right way. One to say I love you and the other to say I love you too"

Beginning

Recently, all thats been on my mind to do is BLOG. So, I finally decided to just set it up today instead continuing in my procrastination. Im gonna be 17 in a few days so this is gonna be my thing for my 17th year on earth. I'm gonna be posting drawings/paintings & poems by me. Ill also be writing day to day things that happen to me. Its gonna be like an online diary in a way. Im excited :) I really hope this goes well. Its the start of something new ..